Many men are less than eager to try anal play, but after learning more about the P-spot, often called the male G-spot, they may change their tunes soon enough. Lose all the standard associations you have with your urologist’s gloved finger and take in all that the prostate has to offer in the pleasure department.
What Is the Prostate?
The prostate is a small organ found directly beneath the bladder that surrounds the urethra. Shaped like a walnut, it reaches about one and one-half inches at its widest point. The prostate is made up of muscle fibers, connective tissue, and several glands that create a clear fluid. The fluid makes up approximately 30% of any one load of ejaculate. As a man orgasms, the smooth muscle fibers contract and send the fluid into the urethra. Earlier in development, boys have prostates the size of a marble, and as adults, it will have grown to be the size of a walnut.
Where Do I Start?
The first thing you want to do is prepare with your partner if you plan on exploring together. Understand that communication is everything. The first time you do this, it’s completely normal to feel a little hesitant. If you want to continue, please keep a few safety notes in mind:
Lube, lube, lube!
Unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating. So lube becomes essential for your comfort. The more lube the better. Apply the lubricant to both the massager’s finger (or your male sex toys) and to your anus. It will feel much better.
Easy does it.
Prostate massage can be exceptionally sensual, or it can be a nightmare. Make sure all nails are trimmed without any jagged edges. (Yeah, I don’t really want to picture that one either. Ouch!) When entering the rectum with the finger, be gentle and wait for the sphincter to open up for you to enter. Do not force your way in. Most of the time, if there has been enough foreplay externally, the anus will relax and simply invite you in. Same goes when it is time to remove your finger. Take it out gradually.
Check in with your man.
Be sure to ask how it feels and adjust to his needs based on the feedback he gives. HE may want it deeper, softer, faster, or any combination of those and more. If it feels good, do it. If it isn’t enjoyable, change it up or stop if you want.
How Do I Massage It?
- As in any other sexual act, foreplay is essential. You can stimulate the P-spot from the outside before you even go near the anus. It will get the juices flowing and help him to relax into the sensations. Begin with gentle stimulation of the perineum, the area just between the testicles and the anus. Yes, tickle his taint.
- As his arousal and need build, shift your fingers, well-lubed as you recall, to trace light circles around the outer ring of his anal opening. Slowly tease that rosebud as you wait for the sphincter’s invitation.If you’re feeling especially adventurous, you can even provide some anilingus at this point.
- When his hole relaxes, slowly oblige its request and glide a single finger in. You likely will not need to go further than a quarter or half inch deep, but remember to check in and only go as far as is relaxed for the man. If you feel resistance, back off slightly and you’ve likely found the happy spot.
- There are several motions to make once you’ve found the walnut-shaped organ with your finger. You can use a “come here” type of movement, make circles around the P-spot, or glide your finger from the outer edge to the center of the organ. Experiment and see what feels good. You can always add in penile stimulation but be cautious since he is likely to be hypersensitive from the prostate massage. You can also use your other hand on his balls or perineum.
- As his arousal grows, he will also have swelling of the prostate. When he is about to orgasm, you will feel the prostate swell the most. This is the time to continue what you are doing steadily and without changing pressure, rate, or movement (unless by request). When he has finished, remove finger slowly and watch him glaze over into absolute bliss.
What Should It Feel Like?
Every one will describe P-spot stimulation differently. It is a very subjective experience. Many find it to be intensely pleasurable. It has been described as a feeling right between needing to urinate and being right on the edge of orgasm. They report feeling waves of pleasure through their pelvis and the rest of their bodies. Often, men will describe orgasms that last longer and that leave lingering sensitivity for more time. They are ready to go again sooner than usual. Other men say it is so intense as to dull sensation altogether, almost overwhelming so they feel very little.
Are There Men's Sex Toys and Can I Buy These Sexy Toys Online?
You are in luck! There are a wide variety of prostate toys available for purchase online. Here are some of my favorite high-end sex toys for men and luxury vibrators made for prostate stimulations specifically.
- LELO vibrators are quality sex toys with a wide variety of styles and uses. The LELOHugo Prostate Massageris one of the best luxury sex toys for prostate play. LELO toys are always made to be ergonomic and constructed of FDA-approved body-safe silicone. They have beautiful discreet packaging and provide a satin pouch for storage. The Hugohas two motors with one motor located in the tipand the other in the base to stimulate the perineum. The motors are strong but quiet, giving you the ultimate privacy. A remote control makes the Hugo easy to control. For travel, it has a lock so it will not vibrate within your suitcase. Fully rechargeable in two hours, you can get four mind-blowing hours of fun out of this little powerhouse. Buy it here in black, blue or pink for $219: https://www.mysecretluxury.com/the-mens-store/prostate-massagers/lelo-hugo-prostate-massager
- For the beginner P-spot massager, the Nexus Glide Prostate Massager is a great option. It is among the newest sex toys available to stimulate the prostate. The shaft is thin, so there’s nothing to be overwhelmed by here. It’s easy to insert and curved for just the right placement. There is a stainless-steel roller ball as well that stimulates the perineal area. It is made from phthalate-free polypropylene, is completely waterproof, and can be used with water- or silicone-based lubricants. A great price doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice quality, so you can purchase the Glide for $39.99 here: https://www.mysecretluxury.com/prostate-massagers/nexus-glide-prostate-massager
- While it is not one of the new sex toys, it is a standard bestseller. The Fun Factory Duke Prostate Massager is an ergonomic, sturdy, and versatile toy for the beginner to advanced user. It has a bullet vibrator with three levels and three patterns, and it can be removed if preferred. The nice thing about this bullet is that it is located up further in the toy, so the vibration is much deeper, stimulating the prostate more directly. It uses a feature called Click ‘N’ Charge which uses magnets to charge the silicone device. The downside of this is the twelve hours it can take to reach capacity. The upside is the fact that there are fewer crevices to have to clean. If you are looking for a waterproof toy, please note that this toy will not meet your needs. It is available in black or blue for $99.99 here: https://www.mysecretluxury.com/toys-gadgets/the-mens-store/prostate-massagers/fun-factory-duke-prostate-massager
There are endless options for how to incorporate P-spot play into your sex life. We’ve just explored the fundamentals. For BDSM and kink practitioners, prostate milking is a wonderful activity to include in sadistic play if you are into that. You could do lots with sensation overload and forced orgasm as well. The possibilities are endless! You just need to open your mind (and your sphincter!) and get creative!